Misadventures in the Muggle World
by Snowsheba
Summary: In which Harry and Draco embark on the dangerous journey of discovering muggle technology, only for said journey to eventually become an epic exploration of the advantages and disadvantages of wizardly magic. Contains a laptop computer, an abused CRT, Java programming, a sledgehammer, cell phones, two cars, a little bit of magic, and Ticonderoga pencils. - H/D if you squint
1. In Which A CRT And Email Are Discussed

**This was written as a little pick-me-up for my sister, who is going through stressful times at the moment :) We both liked it so much, though, that I decided that I would continue this as a little mini-series of sorts. I don't usually write Harry Potter fic, so this should be interesting.**

**That being said, enjoy!**

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><p>It was a compelling and convincing argument, and for that reason he chose to ignore it.<p>

"No."

"You can't be serious," Harry said, eyebrow raised. He sounded more exasperated than annoyed, but Draco knew it was a close thing.

"I am completely and utterly serious, I assure you."

"It's completely safe," Harry pointed out. He was unfortunately correct, but Draco could see no reason to point it out. "Provided you don't use magic or hit anything with a sledgehammer, there isn't a single thing you could do to make this situation worse."

"Still no."

"Face it, Draco. You've been completely outmatched in the legalese department."

"This has nothing to do with legalese."

"Fine, fancy wording, then. Honestly, what's the problem? You're acting like I asked you to hex Professor McGonagall."

"This situation can be equated to that."

Harry heaved a sigh, and then he said almost tonelessly, "Draco, it's a _computer_. Which is a stationary object that only turns on when you _want it to_."

"I've heard of artificial intelligence, Harry." Draco examined the contraption with a scrutinizing eye. "How am I to know if it won't wake up and kill me?"

"The only artificial intelligence you've heard of is from _Terminator_, and this is hardly Skynet." Harry tapped the computer's monitor with a single finger, practically vibrating with impatience. "In fact, it's not even close to Skynet. It's a crappy CRT that's at least ten years old."

"CRT?"

"Cathode-ray tube." At Draco's blank look, Harry said, "Old kind of technology involving electrons and tubes and – look, that's not important, all I'm saying is that if you really want a reliable way to communicate with me quickly, _besides owls_, you're going to have to use this."

"And do what with it?"

"And get an email account to email with me. I already told you this."

"I thought you said this computer isn't yours."

"It's not. I have a better one at home."

"Then why are you showing me this?"

"Because this is probably the only thing that will reliably work in your huge mansion? I mean, if you get electricity. Do you have running current?"

"What?"

"Oh. Er. Well, that might be a problem. Maybe we should get you a laptop."

"What."

"How none of wizards or witches noticed the technological advances in muggle society, that is the question of the century." Harry pursed his lips, thinking, and then he took Draco by the arm. "Field trip time, let's go."

"_What_."

"To get you a laptop. I'll have to ask Hermione to see if she can find a spell that can charge computers. Are you sure you don't have outlets in your house?"

"Harry, I don't understand half of what you're saying to me. I'm still not sure I can believe that muggles can communicate with each other over some strange metaphorical cloud of data that somehow connects one side of the planet to another."

"Internet. And don't ask me, I don't know how it works except that it does." Draco was very sure that the smile Harry flashed him was far from comforting. "I can't wait until I show you Facebook."

Draco let out a frustrated groan. This could go nowhere good.


	2. In Which A Laptop Computer Is Purchased

**And so it continues!**

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><p>"This is a laptop."<p>

"No."

"This is a tablet."

"No."

"This is a phone."

"No."

"Say no."

"No – wait. Yes."

"Got you." Harry grinned and handed Draco a box that apparently contained some sort of electrical device about the size of the average spellbook. "How about this one?"

Draco eyed it with a furrowed brow. "It looks exactly like the others."

"Don't be ridiculous, this one's from Acer," Harry said. Then he pointed out, "_And_ it's a PC."

"Which means?"

"Personal computer."

Hm. "Aren't all computers personal computers?"

"Well, yeah, but there are Macs and then there are PCs. They run different programs."

"… I'm sorry?"

"Programs. Like, uh." Pause. "... Linux?"

"I don't understand."

"Me neither. I don't know much about them, to be honest."

"How reassuring."

"Never mind, it doesn't matter." Draco opened his mouth and Harry quickly added, "Just take this laptop. I'll show you how it works when we get back."

"Harry," Draco said plaintively, "I don't _want_ a laptop."

"But you want to talk to me over the summer, which means you'll _need_ a laptop."

"I don't see what's wrong with owls."

"That's because you're a pureblood wizard who can't admit muggle technology is better than all magic combined." Harry tapped his temple. " Trust me on this."

Draco frowned, vaguely. "I feel like I should be offended."

"Don't bother, magic is way cool." He blinked and Harry said, "But seriously, it will be _much_ faster to talk to me with one of these. Provided you have electricity."

Pause. "I'll take your word for it."

"Finally, you're learning. Now come on, let's buy this and I'll get you started."

"How do you even know about this kind of thing? I thought your muggle family treated you like dirt."

"They did, but you pick things up after a few years of living near nice muggle neighbors involved in software development." Harry clapped a hand on Draco's shoulder and pushed him bodily towards the cashier. "Now quit stalling and let's go."

"I don't have any Muggle currency," Draco said, a little desperately.

"I do. We can just exchange it to galleons and such later."

"You're really keen on this, aren't you?"

"Well," Harry said, and he flashed Draco a smile, "I'd like to keep in touch with you over the summer too, you know."

Draco was so surprised by this that he didn't say a word while Harry pulled him through the strangely uncomplicated purchase of the computer.


End file.
